Jealous or Envy: Differences and Strategies to cope with
What is Jealousy and Envy? Differences between them, types of Jealousy, Signs and Symptoms of being jealous and Strategies to cope with
Two emotions interchangeably used but both are different, often for both emotions we used the term “Jealousy”. Jealousy or Envy ? Differences and strategies to cope with: Jealousy is fear that other person may take yours or something that considered to be yours. Whereas Envy is desire for something that belongs to others. Both has its root on Insecurities.
Shakespeare used “Green Eyed Monster” for jealousy in his play Othello.
“Carl has really been bitten by the green-eyed monster; he gets jealous if his wife so much as talks to another man.”
Examples of Jealousy & Envy:
When your Bestie has spent time with another fellow who is smart and intelligent, If you show
- Anger towards that person, you are Jealous
- Unhappy and longing for that relationship, you are Envy
- Sometimes both will happen.
Envy usually occurs when your colleague has appraisals or promotions, or your neighbor bought a car or home and you started longing for that appraisals, promotions or any materialistic things.
Types of Jealousy:
Retroactive Jealousy: Unhealthy interest in your Partner’s Romantic or Sexual past
Reactive Jealousy: Occurs when a person becomes aware of an actual threat or danger to a relationship. Always in response to realistic danger.
Suspicious Jealousy: Cue feelings of Insecurity & distrust.
Delusional Jealousy: Otherwise called pathological jealousy or Morbid jealousy or Othello syndrome. It is a Psychological disorder with the point of obsession and behave fanatically.
Remember if Jealousy & Envy feelings are long lasting, pervasive or severe, it can lead to feelings of Anger, Resentment, Depression or Mental illness {Schizophrenia, Paranoia, Anxiety disorder, Borderline personality disorder, Psychosis}which has a huge effect on your physical health too. So, Monitor your Emotions!!
Read also: Sadness, Health issues, Management
Signs of Jealousy:
There are variety of symptoms, if the person gets jealous. Some are mild, subtle, unnoticeable. These are the signs & symptoms you may experience if you are jealous.
- Anger towards a person or situation that is interfering with something you care.
- Sadness or feeling unhappy when your colleague receives something that you wanted.
- Resentment of a friend or partner when they cant spend time with you.
- Always comparing yourself with others.
Signs of Envy:
- You aren’t happy for others success or another person’s success makes you unhappy.
- You feel the need to diminish other person’s success.
- Judging others negatively
- You are happy when others face setbacks.
- You look for defects and make criticism for everything
In common, people who are Jealous and Envy always highly judgmental, gossiping about others, sad and has a great desire for materialistic gain and think that it brings happiness.
Roots or causes of Jealousy & Envy:
- Lack of trust on own self and others
- Lack of trust in the process of life
- Anxiety based Insecurities
- Low self esteem
- Obsession in comparing others
- Dissatisfaction- always focusing on what they don’t have.
Tips to overcome:
Acknowledge your Emotions : Accept you identity, remember it is just part of being Human. Don’t escape from Emotions & Don’t follow your emotions. Just travel with it by accepting and addressing it Constructively.
Identify the cause: whether it is insecurity or lack of trust or fear or low self-esteem and address it accordingly. If it is in relationships, Communication helps. If it is in self-esteem issues, identifying personal values helps
Focus your language, how you speak to yourself and you speak with others. Self love matters!!
Ignore Selectively and Distract positively: Once aware about your negative emotions, don’t give too much respect and carry the same. Instant, you can distract it positively by Self-bolstering
Self –Bolstering: Remind yourself of your own positive qualities, advantages and Strengths.
Self Awareness and Self regulation strategies helps.
Staying positive :
- Start a day with Positive affirmations
- Focus on good things
- Take and turn your failures in to lessons
- Practice gratitude and write gratitude journal at least 3 days per week
- Embrace change – Nature has all answers- Adaptability…click here
- Help others -you don’t need money to help others, sharing knowledge is also a form of help.
Regular Exercise, Practice Mindfulness and Meditation gives a huge benefit for your Physical, Mental, Emotional and soul health.
Talk it out – Get support
Above all, Remember Jealousy & Envy gives you a cue for what you desire most. So take action on it , stay focused and move forward!!
References:
University of Rochester Medical centre
Web Md
Here is the few tips to practice Self love!!
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